What’s under your need to be perfect?

On the surface, all we see is “perfectionistic”, “neurotic”, sometimes controlling behaviour. But if we look a little deeper we can begin to understand, that underneath perfectionism there may be a lot going on. Here we dive deeper into understanding perfectionism including how counselling can help.

There are many ways perfectionism shows up in our life and can GET IN THE WAY of how we live (read our previous article to learn more about what perfectionism can look like).⁠

Understanding perfectionism

Perfectionism can show up in many different domains in our life:⁠

⁠🔅 Work or school⁠
🔅 Relationships⁠
🔅 Physical activity⁠
🔅 Home environment or surroundings⁠
🔅 Hygiene and health⁠
🔅 Physical appearance⁠
🔅 How you speak or write⁠

⁠Many factors may contribute to developing perfectionist tendencies:

🧩 An insecure early attachment to a caregiver.⁠
🧩 Having a caregiver model perfectionistic behaviours.⁠
🧩 Having a caregiver routinely express disapproval when your efforts don’t measure up to their expectations.⁠
🧩 Frequent fear of disapproval from others.⁠
🧩 Personality style that is higher in conscientiousness and rigidity.⁠
🧩 Experiences of trauma or shame.⁠ patterns, it’s ok and expected that it’ll take some time to understand and change these patterns. ⁠

Change your habits and move towards self-compassion

If these sound familiar and you have figured out that perfectionism is interfering in your life in some way, we think you’ll love our self help-guide, ‘The Lifted Life‘ to help you get started. Inside our therapist-designed guide are all sorts of self-reflective exercises, tools, and strategies to move you out of old habits and into a more self-compassionate, better version of yourself.

You can learn more about The Lifted Life guide here.

Counselling for perfectionism

We hope that this information has helped you to shed some light on your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, and allowed you to gain valuable insight. This is a first step towards change. But if you are ready to dive deeper and focus on making significant changes in your life, you may benefit from working through this with one of our counsellors. To book a session, click here.

If you’re not sure what kind of support you need, we’ll be happy to match you with a counsellor who can help.

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