Have you experienced a loss?
At our counselling clinic, we see clients going through many types of pregnancy loss such as a chemical pregnancy, blighted ovum, molar pregnancy, miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, vanishing twin, termination for medical reasons, and stillbirth. Pregnancy loss has significant impacts on a person's life. Together with your therapist, you can learn how to navigate your grief and move forward.
Read more about the basics on self-care after a miscarriage.
Maybe this sounds like you:
“My body has failed me”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Am I able to carry a baby?”
“When will I stop feeling so sad and empty?”
“I feel so alone in this”
“I can’t bear to see other pregnant women”
Pregnancy loss is often referred to as an “invisible loss”. This makes it very challenging for grieving mothers, couples, and families to get the recognition or type of support they need. And yet pregnancy loss is so common, with approximately 25% of all pregnancies ending in miscarriage (loss before 20 weeks gestation). Other types of pregnancy loss include termination for genetic reasons, stillbirth (loss after 20 weeks gestation – occurs in 0.5% of pregnancies), and postnatal deaths. (SOGC, 2020).
Despite the way your pregnancy prematurely ended, the results are always the same – enduring grief that can be painful and isolating. Pregnancy loss is a unique type of loss where only the mother, and perhaps the partner, had a relationship with this pregnancy. Women can feel like they have trouble fitting in where pregnant women and young families are everywhere they go. There is an intense grieving period in which women retreat from the world and then come back into it a changed person. There are layers of loss, the physical loss of the baby and all the hopes and dreams for the future. This type of loss is by no means an insignificant one.
Therapy can help you to:
- Acknowledge and process your grief. With pregnancy loss there are many layers of grief - the actual loss itself, the future you started envisioning with that baby, the milestones you hit like a due date or the day of the loss. Illuminate will help you navigate this grief as it shows up, as it can be very overwhelming and often confusing.
- More easily deal with challenging social situations. People’s comments/questions and assumptions can unintentionally hurt, and it’s a deeply personal journey that we selectively choose when and who to share it with. Illuminate will help you to navigate these challenging situations like the return to work after your loss, how to talk to your friends/family, what to do about baby showers, how to respond when a friend shares they’re pregnant, etc.
- Navigate trying again and being pregnant. After a loss the idea of being pregnant again can be quite scary. While some women are keen to get pregnant again and others quite hesitant, being pregnant after a loss can be a challenging experience. Illuminate will help you navigate the triggers and worries that come up with trying to conceive and being pregnant after your loss.
- Learn new ways of coping. We’ll examine what you’re already doing to support yourself (you may not be aware of it yet, but there’s always something helpful you’re already doing for yourself). We’ll also explore new “tools” to add to your “coping toolbox” - these will be customized because it’s not a one-size-fits-all type of deal.